Thursday, February 27, 2014

Porsche Physiognomy

"Physiognomy is the assessment of a person's character or personality from his or her outer appearance, especially the face. The term can also refer to the general appearance of a person, object [such as a Porsche 911, I add], or terrain . . ." Wikipedia. When people are generally understood to be of a certain character because of their appearance, they typically behave in the manner expected of them - toward the person(s) who appraised them in the first place. 

I knew a guy who owned a 997 GT3. He was given a ticket for speeding, and on that ticket the police officer wrote, "It looked as if he was speeding." When parked a GT3 looks as if it is speeding. Duh. The Porsche owner questioned the ticket before a judge, and the judge had no idea what a GT3 was, nor what it looked like. So he accepted the officer's appraisal and the ticket stood. If it looks like a sports car, it probably is a fast car, and people speed in those things. To the cop, speeding was the expected behaviour, therefore the driver must have been speeding. It's that simple, even if the GT3 driver was unaware of the lurking traffic cop's preconceived idea and, though irrelevant, innocent of it. I know, in some states the traffic police are trained in speed estimation and their expertise will stand in court, but in this instance no approximation of speed (?) was indicated for the ticketed driver, so the whole thing was iffy and a bit peculiar.


Prejudices are rampant all over the world, all of the time. Many wars occur because of them, never mind if anyone is guilty of anything - except within the erroneous perception of someone else. So, if you drive a Porsche, you are perceived as being guilty 95% of the time, no matter what you are doing. You are guilty for owning a Porsche, because - no matter that it is a 35 year old junker that cost less than a used Hyundai - it is a
PORSCHE $and you must be a member of the thieving 1%, and that's why there are jokes about the differences between a porcupine and a Porsche. So there.

Very well, if you own a Porsche, you already know the above to be the gospel truth, or you will soon know it. But, it doesn't stop there, with speeding.



You are also understood to be intensely interested in drag racing with tricked-out little rice-grinder cars with sewer pipe exhausts and out-of-proportion 'spoiler' wings on the back, along with other junk. Just ask the driver of one of those cars, who is revving his engine at a stoplight, and he will tell you that it's true, but that you try to hide it because you don't want to be embarrassed when he blows you off the road. Is that part true? And you are rude, vain, aggressive, plus being generally offensive, all without necessarily opening your mouth, at all.  

Not to mention the pick-up trucks, minivans, and big SUVs that tailgate you, blast past you for no fruitful reason on a crowded highway, and similar. You are a target, so why do you drive such a car and subject yourself to all of this nonsense? There must be a good reason, right? Oh, and you can never allow a valet to park your car, lest you have an unending supply of free transmissions available to you.



His Lordship, Bulwer-Lytton

There is only one reason for the abuse you unfairly receive as a Porsche owner and driver; the "Great Unwashed" (to quote Lord Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, in his 1830 novel Paul Clifford) are envious of you to a deep shade of green. Deal with it, and avoid the porcupine thing.

1 comment:

Semen Rendi said...
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